The Vin has been doubled.
But i know.
Why is that?
And first let me rephrase that. Why do people put AUTOPLAY music players on their blogs?
Why can’t Win XP have fonts that are unicode-combinable to handle Zalgo >_>
I still don’t get why people put those on their blogs.
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
(Source: pandaaamonium14, via ava-pilot-01)
[video]
Just saw this on twitter help I can’t stop laughing
(Source: radical--softness, via drakyr-archive)
Krael Brred. sounds like rye bread.
Carta Rosum
which i think in latin just means pink paper
Crash Crodur
omfg
Kolsa Thhud
not bad
Stomi Pejag
yeah this didn’t work
Yelta McRoc
Dude that’s a badass name.
HUIAR INAME
HUIAR.
Howta Fooke
MY NAME IS LITERALLY HOW TO FUCK
Horar Mebie
Pewer Stkal
(Source: jamesalexanderrose, via xxlplakat)
The longest recorded snake ever recorded was a green snake only one centimeter wide at its thickest. It’s body however was 43 feet long.
Seen here coiled loosely into a pile, the specimen, named “Warren Peace" by the herpetologists who take care of the specimen, was discovered under the bed one 6 year old Betty Keller of San Francisco, Georgia. Said her mother, “Betty told us there was a snake under the bed. We thought we’d take a look and then tell her it was her imagination but there was the little head sticking out. It looked harmless so I just pulled it out and it kept coming and coming like handkerchiefs from a clown’s mouth. Eventually we had to start winding it around my stripper pole which I use only for exercise and even then it was a huge ordeal.“
Warren now resides at the Frisco, GA Zoo where he has his own aquarium 10X30ft in size, which the serpent often sprawls across completely. He eats goldfish, about 10 a day which, through the use of colored dyes, have been found to take almost 15 weeks to make it through the elongated digestive system.
Hundreds of tourists come from every state every day to visit the magnificent beast, but one little lady who won’t be visiting is his discoverer Betty Keller, who remains committed to the nearby Laplish Asylum For The Critically Traumatized. “This girl may never recover,” said Doctor Mellman in violation of doctor patient confidentiality, “She freaks out every time they serve spaghetti at the cafeteria.“
I think you guys know what to do.
Where do you see art theft? AFAIU, guy doesn’t claim it’s his art.
The guy already deleted all pics where they slapped the URL (literally, they took the art, claiming as their AND slapped their URL on it), but most of what’s left in the gallery is STILL not theirs (backwards google images search) and they do not source anything. And in some (now deleted) comments they claimed all of this as their own.
(Source: pewnythepony, via vindicar)
I think you guys know what to do.
(Source: gustonyc, via death-by-lulz)