What I mean:
You are one of the best friends I've ever had. The level on which we connect baffles me. I'm so so happy that I can share my interests, secrets, guilt, faults, joys, and insecurities with you in confidence and receive encouragement to improve and keep being better, and I'm comfortable with the ease with which I can reciprocate those feelings and that support to you as well. We make a great team and I'm really fortunate to have you in my life.
What I say:
u lil shit
Socialism:
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
Communism:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism:
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation:
You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation:
You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation:
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture:
'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism:
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Apathyologism:
You have 2 cows. You do not care.
Fatalist:
You have 2 doomed cows...
Atheism:
You have 2 cows. There is no God.
A West-Country Corporation:
You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Russia:
You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
PETA:
You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
Moffat:
You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
Hussie:
You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
Romney:
You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
Once-ler:
You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
Old Spice:
You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
An Irish Corporation:
You have a million cows because they're everywhere
Tumblr:
You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
Also Tumblr:
I give you a hamburger.
Cows:
The shit you go through.
This post:
Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
Me:
you have no cows, you scratch your head as you read this post, then you laugh, then you reblog with a hopefully witty comment, then continue scrolling with reckless abandon
Thanks for following Flutterschiavo! The story will resume shortly, but in the meantime please enjoy this MLP-themed Bioshock Infinite fanart that I made just for you!
If you haven’t played the game yet and are trying to avoid even the smallest of giveaways, then don’t scrutinize the picture too closely! A brief glance won’t reveal any great plot twists or major spoilers though. It’s more like, when you have played the game, you’ll look at this picture again and go “OHHHHHHhhh I see what you did there, BrutaMod, you clever devil, you. Have my babies!” and so forth.
And for those who do want to scrutinize, there’s a large-sized one here for your scrutinizing pleasure and/or desktop background use. Yay!
alternately titled Why Dave Wasn’t The Ectobiologist
TG: what do i do with these TG: whats on my head TG: who is touching my ass TG: no jade i wont hold you TG: i said no TG: wait dont cry TG: fine fine as long as you tell whoever is on my head to get off TG: its me? TG: god damn it me get off there
