facts-i-just-made-up:

Regicide is the unthinkable act of killing Reggie Fils-Aimé.

Nobody has yet attempted to harm this adorable creature who brings joy to the fingertips of millions of American Nintendo users but the word exists as a warning that we must protect him as we adore him, we must be vigilant lest this gift to humankind be taken away from us by Xboneists or Plastationites.

People forget that the WiiU and NN3DS(XL)LL+2 do not come free. Reggie Fils-Aimé worked to bring these devices to America. And for that, there are those who would destroy him. We will not let this happen. We will defend our founding father against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and also Waluigi. Times ahead may be frightening, the tasks set upon us may seem impossible, but anyone who’s played Silver Surfer for NES knows that when things appear impossible, when the urge to rage quit overcomes us, that is when we, the Nintendo Loyalists of this great nation play our finest game.

A day may come when the Contra code fails us, when we forsake the Princess and the 4-Tall Tetris block never comes, but it is not this day. An hour of Koopas and Octoroks when the age of Mario comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we play! By all that you hold dear in your two hands, even when Kid Icarus: Uprising makes your thumb ache like hell, I bid you to select Continue!

Gaming without Reggie would be hell, so leave luck to heaven.