meficrow:

>random guy in shit tier iron armor shows up one day saying a dragon is burning down a city
>don’t know why the guards let him in
>figure I can throw another body at my court wizard so I shuffle him over
>Comes back with arrows sticking out of his body and holding the tablet out for my court wizard like its nothing
>Hear reports someone killed literally every bandit, rat, wolf, and rabbit between here and the spot he was sent
>I now need to get this pain immune lunatic murderer out of my city.
>Dragon shows up
>Ohthankthegods
>Send the guy out on a suicide mission to kill a dragon
>End of my worries
>He comes back, apparently having killed the dragon and eaten its soul
>According to reports just stood there and let the dragon burn him while chugging addictive and dangerous health potions he made himself.
>Now standing in front of me eating an entire bushel of apples, two loaves of bread, and an entire side of beef while everyone looks on in horror and disgust
>Need to get him away from my children as fast as possible
>Tell him he needs to climb the tallest mountain in Skyrim and stay with the Graybeards
>He leaves without a word
>Hopefully thats the last I’ll see of him.