ponyocimprovement:

http://pewnypl.tumblr.com/

You never want to make your OC’s coat this dark. It’s just, well, too dark, and I don’t think we’ve seen any really dark ponies in the show yet, aside from Thundercloud, but he’s one out of however many ponies we’ve seen, while black/dark gray-coated OC’s are much more common.

The mane might have looked decent enough, if your coat wasn’t black. Black and white doesn’t look too good on a pony if used like this, and honestly, I think he looks better with his reversed color scheme you posted a couple days ago:

This isn’t quite what you posted, though. I quickly edited the mane. If you do that for the coat on the normal color scheme, it’d look a lot better as well. Still a bit sub-par in my opinion, but a lot better. But if you reverse his color scheme, I like the green eyes.

His cutie mark is a small radio, which is supposed to represent his talent of fixing types of devices. I don’t think a radio represents that very well, so what I’d do is add a wrench. Maybe lying flat in front of the radio, maybe crossed over the radio. I think it’d make his cutie mark easier to understand without reading the sidebar, and it doesn’t drastically change it.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that saddlebag is holding his tools that he uses for fixing various devices. If I’m right, I think that’s fine. Nothing wrong with it. If I’m wrong, I don’t know what it’s used for, nor do I know what that little gray thing poking out of it is.

About the fetlocks, I think they look fine as-is. They don’t really do much good, but they don’t do any bad either. So I couldn’t care less if you kept them or took them away.

You did a good job of telling us what your pony’s talent is, what he does, and a short part of his backstory without going into too much detail and length and boring us in your sidebar. As for the meaning of his name, based on what it says, it makes me think that you chose it to be really unique, and unique is good. Unless you’re too unique. And that name is too unique to be good. Unless I’m completely misunderstanding you, and his name is just “Pewny” and not “PewnyPL”. If that’s the case, then Pewny is still a bit odd in my opinion, and ponies usually have names based around their cutie marks. If I heard the name “Pewny/PewnyPL”, I would never be able to guess what his talent was, had I not read your sidebar.

I also think you should remove the bit about being shy because of people disliking him for his coat color. You could just make him naturally shy, because with a bad coat color like his, you’re bound to get quite a few people who don’t like it.

Moving on to your roleplaying…

I read a post mentioning your tool bag, so hooray for me for not guessing what it was wrong. Anyway, a lot of your posts could be worded differently, better. Like this one:

“*lies on her back and keeps his limbs relaxed, swaying by the mare’s body, his wings folded fully* It’s fine. In fact *suddenly remembers that he tried to kill himself* …………………. in fact I should be greatul you decided to help somepony like me… “

If I had to rewrite it, this is what I’d write:

“*He folds his wings and lies on her back, relaxing his limbs, allowing them to sway freely by the mare’s body* It’s fine, in fact, I… *His mind catches up and he remembers he had tried to kill himself* …In fact I should be grateful for your help.”

Another thing, you really need to cut down on the ellipses. You overuse them and sometimes put way too many periods than necessary. You don’t need that many pauses in a 1-3 sentence long reply. The last thing I’m going to comment on is trying to kill off your character. There are much better ways to send your character out than killing him, and suicide is not something you’d see in Equestria.