*cough* Dołączył(a) (pol.) = Joined (eng.) *cough*

I seriously wonder where idiots like that come from…

I take it you don’t know what The Onion is?

I’ll be honest, I have no idea. I’m guessing there is a lot of articles (or all are) at such idiotic level?

No it’s a satirical ‘news’ website. All the articles are intentionally ludicrous and made up, for laughs.