facts-i-just-made-up:

1. Thou shalt not ship Loki with Bruce Banner, for Bruce blongeth to Tony.
2. Thou shalt remove “You’ll Love This Blog” text from any post thou rebloggeth.
3. Thou shalt honor and respect Adventure Time, for it is good.
4. Thou shalt adore the Capybara, for it is the coolest rodent.
5. Thou shalt not abjure one another for leaving the toilet seat up, for it is not that hard to put it down again and yea, it’s not worth the stress in your relationship.
6. Thy carpet shalt always matcheth thy drapes.
7. If thy parents catchest thou abusing thyself, thou shalt look them in the eyes and finish despite their disgust.
8. Thou shalt take everything thou readest online with a grain of salt.
9. Thou shalt speak not of Fight Club.
10. Thou shalt speak NOT of Fight Club.
11. Thou shalt knock not on doors whose signs read No Soliciting, for if you do and you wake me up I will fucking beat you to death with a rabid badger on a stick.
12. Thou shalt read my comic, The Snail Factory, and forgiveth me my self promotion.