Gilda confesses their love for you, because they’re cool

I stab Lyra in the leg because I’m a princess. O_O

derpy confesses her love to me because they’re cool

braeburn parties hard with me… why?

applebloom becpmes my best friend because she loves me YES MY FAVORITE PONY LOVES ME!!!!!

"Celestia confesses her love for me, because I’m hot? The last part sounds about right, but the first one? Questionable."

"Scootaloo parties hard with me because they’re cool." Okay, but I don’t go to parties.

"Apple Bloom says you’re hot because they’re hot."

[POLICE SIRENS]

"Rainbow Dash confesses her love for me because I’m cool."

Does she mean like like or…